is something I’ve been known to do. Awakening next to someone I just met was a real possibility. I looked from where I lay on a couch and into the blue eyes of someone staring back from a couch across the room. Between us a coffee table with a bong on it surrounded by empty and partially empty beer bottles.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes seeing a lighter on the table and hash left in the bong. I fired it up and motioned to blue eyes—-still gender neutral. He sat up and took the lighter from my hand as I blew smoke into the spacious living area.
“I drank too much,” I willingly admitted. He shook his head and said in German, “I don’t understand.” I barely spoke German. I was drinking in Denmark as I recalled. My pants were, somewhere. I was looking for them on the floor around me to no avail. I checked beneath the blanket that covered me—at least I had my boxers on. I got up and looked around unsuccessfully until blue eyes understood and pointed toward a closed door. I approached it and looked back at him.
He shrugged and I opened the door. The lighting was dim and everything was red. Everything, including the blanket covering a blob on the bed. It snored and moved as my mind swirled with blank thoughts— disconnected from how or why or what the f#×k I did last night. I saw my pants on the floor next to the bed and grabbed them without disturbing the stirring mass.
In the front room putting on my pants as blue eyes watched, I said, “What a night.” He was refilling the bong and handed me the lighter. I indulged once more and looked around until locating a door with a peephole. I handed “blue eyes” the lighter and went to the door. It wouldn’t open and I looked through the peephole. All I could see was red everything. I drew back and saw the door I first used. A third door had me curious and I assumed it was the door out. Another peephole on a door without a knob. Looking through it revealed only red. And rising from the bed was the blob of a mass. A solid red creature of about 400 pounds with horns looking for its clothing.
By then I was out of my mind. I saw it stretch spandex over its large backside and reach for a hairbrush. Horns appeared and disappeared beneath bountiful blonde hair. Dropping the hairbrush the creature grabbed a button down shirt and buttoned it over six breasts as she approached one of the doors.
I ran across the room to the coffee table before the door opened. A short blonde came from the room dressed in red. She came to the table and smoked from the bong. Smoking hot and familiar looking yet I could not place her. I knew she was the creature from the room but someone else too. A widely known celebrity of about 100 pounds now.
She blew smoke into the room and said to blue eyes, “He was terrific last night wasn’t he?” Blue eyes agreed to my dismay. “Let’s go get something to eat,” said the blonde. She put red lipstick on while looking in the mirror. I saw her ancient appearance reflecting back. I saw the reflection of myself too and blue eyes, creatures of the night we all were. Massive creatures with the frightening appearance of never dying rock stars.
What were we smoking and who had I become? Outside in the night air, everywhere we walked from one dive bar to the next, giddy teenagers asked her for autographs. Some would stare at me and I was introduced as the new drummer for her world tour. That’s right, I do play the drums.
I drank way too much and somehow ended up back at the apartment with many groupies. Another night of heavy partying and in the morning blue eyes was on his couch looking at me. Scattered around us was the clothing of the groupies. All had been devoured by the woman we were serving and going to be playing instruments for on her world tour. Except for one who was in a chair wrapped in a blanket.
“Are they my panties on your pillow?” she asked. I tossed them to her—our new backup singer. “You were terrific last night, wasn’t he?”she asked “blue eyes” to my dismay. I checked her reflection in the mirror, a hideous beast that I must have shared with blue eyes. He shared the bong and lighter with me as I watched the creature we apparently shared putting her clothes on.
DAGilberthorrorwriter 